Dionne: Cher is saving herself for Luke Perry.
Tai: Cher, you're a virgin?!
Cher: God! You say it like it's a bad thing.
Dionne: Besides, the PC term is "hymenally challenged."
Cher: I am just not interested in doing it until I find the right person. You see how picky I am about my shoes and they only go on my feet.

Murray: Are you bitches blind or something? Your man Christian is a cake boy!
Cher and Dionne: A what?!
Murray: He's a disco-dancing, Oscar Wilde-reading, Streisand ticket-holding friend of Dorothy, know what I'm saying?

Tai: Why am I even listening to you to begin with? You're a virgin who can't drive.
Cher: [pause] That was way harsh, Tai.

Cher: So like, right now for example. The Haitians need to come to America. But some people are all, "What about the strain on our resources?" Well it's like when I had this garden party for my father's birthday, right? I put R.S.V.P. 'cause it was a sit-down dinner. But some people came that like did not R.S.V.P. I was like totally buggin'. I had to haul ass to the kitchen, redistribute the food, and squish in extra place settings. But by the end of the day it was, like, the more the merrier. And so if the government could just get to the kitchen, rearrange some things, we could certainly party with the Haitians. And in conclusion may I please remind you it does not say R.S.V.P. on the Statue of Liberty. Thank you very much.

Cher: I am totally butt crazy in love with Josh.

Cher: Sometimes you have to show a little skin. This reminds boys of being naked, and then they think of sex.